No Eating Zone

I hope you had a great and successful week so far, giving yourself positive ideas and making better and smarter choices with what you eat and how active you are. This weekend I have an idea that might help you eliminate some mindless eating: Establish a "No Eating Zone". This would be a place where you receive subtle cues to eat whenever you approach, even when you're not hungry.

Maybe it's the chair in front of the TV, the sofa where you curl up to read a good book, or your bed where you have a late night snack just before turning in. Some people find they eat to pass the time when they're in their car, on the phone, or at a relative's house. Some places cue us to eat because there are snacks involved as part of the event, like a ball game or a movie theatre.

Where is this place for you? Your desk at work or your sewing room? Your front porch or your neighbor's kitchen? Figure out where you are consuming extra calories when you're not even hungry and decide that will not be a place for you to eat anymore. Food is eaten to nourish our bodies, to enjoy in the company of others during a meal, to savor the flavors... but not to be consumed as a past time while we're already doing something else we enjoy!


Tell us about your "no eating zone", what you used to eat there, and how you feel about giving it up!

Weight Loss Solution: How Sally Lost Weight

Sally was not eating three meals a day when she came to see me for help losing weight. "I feel like I'm saving extra calories by skipping breakfast, and sometimes lunch," she told me. "If I can get by without eating then, doesn't that mean I should be losing weight? I'm afraid if I start adding all that extra food I'll gain even more." In the famous words of Dr. Phil I asked, "So, how's that working for you?"

Sally admitted it wasn't working. Sometimes she would get so hungry she would eat whatever she could find that was fast and easy--usually a candy bar from the vending machine or a convenience store. "And when I get home around dinner time I'm just too hungry to think of cooking an entire meal," she related. So dinner was usually something she could get quickly and lots of--like a buffet, or a Chinese take-out or a pizza. Obviously Sally had good intentions, but physiological hunger virtually always wins out in the end. Sally's body was talking her brain into feeding herself with the only regard being 'get something now'.

I told Sally about some research studies that showed convincing evidence of how eating more meals during the day helped people to weigh less. When subjects were given 2000 calories at one meal for six weeks in a row--and that's all they ate all day--they gained weight. As the same subjects had the same 2000 calories divided into 2 meals, then 3 meals, and eventually 6 meals a day for several weeks, they ended up losing weight. The same people, the same food: The only difference was they were eating it over a span of 15 hours instead of 50 minutes.

Sally agreed to try it. We came up with a simple and fast breakfast she could eat that wouldn't be time consuming for her while she was trying to dash out the door. We found several great options for snacks she could have during the day that were relatively low in calories so she wasn't so hungry just before a meal. Having planned snacks increases the chance that she'll think clearly at meal times, and make a wise decision about what to eat then. She could eat a fairly light lunch, since she was used to eating little at that time, and also because there was another snack to come in the afternoon.

After a couple of weeks Sally was adjusting to her new schedule and she was pleasantly surprised. "I actually enjoy my breakfast and have started looking forward to it," she told me with a smile ... "I can't believe all the food I'm eating and that I've actually lose three pounds!" Sally was no longer making candy bar runs mid-afternoon, because she never found herself too hungry to stop and think about what a smarter choice would be. She was arriving home at dinner time feeling only slightly hungry, and with enough energy to put some thought into preparing a balanced, low fat meal. She was getting comfortable with the idea that she could eat three meals (plus snacks!) on a regular schedule and not gain weight.

Try it out to see for yourself: Have a bowl of cereal for breakfast (or 2 slices of toast); bring some string cheese or a yogurt for a morning snack (you are likely to be hungry for lunch now that your body is getting fuel from breakfast and increasing your metabolism); have a 300 calorie frozen meal for lunch, or a sandwich, with a fresh fruit and a salad; bring a 100 calorie snack for the afternoon to be sure you don't arrive home so hungry that you raid the pantry; and prepare a nice healthy dinner (it doesn't have to be fancy) to round out your day. Chances are you can still have another snack in the evening (a low fat ice cream bar, or a few handfuls of popcorn) and find yourself on the road to successfully losing weight. Give it a few weeks and please post how you're doing here so we can cheer you on!

Mind Over Matter

Yesterday I wrote about how going on a diet can set you up to fail. Today I ask you to think about how you talk to yourself and if that can be affecting how successful you are. If you desire to lose weight but are always saying, "I just can't lose weight; being overweight just runs in my family" or "I must just have a slow metabolism" you are justifying to yourself that it just won't happen. You are giving up without even trying. And you are bound to be unsuccessful.

If you have not been successful at weight loss (or other accomplishments) think about speaking positively to yourself and see where that gets you. If you think this won't work, I say give it a try--it sure can't hurt. And in the words of the famous Dr. Phil, "How is what you're doing now working for you?"


Here are some ideas of what you might be telling yourself and how you can phrase it more positively:
- "I can't stop eating these chips" becomes "I am going to put this bag of chips down now because I am making better decisions with how I eat"
- "I can't go for walk--I'm just too tired" becomes "I'll go for a short walk now because I know I will feel good when I'm finished"
- "It doesn't matter what I eat--I just can't lose weight" becomes "even if I don't lose 50 pounds I know I'll be in better shape by choosing lower calorie foods and eating more reasonable portions"

Try to catch yourself when you say negative things (even if you're not saying them out loud) and stop to phrase them in a more positive way. Think about other areas of your life where you are telling yourself you're no good; you may be establishing self-fulfilling prophecies. Saying (or thinking) things like "I'm just not an organized person", "I'm a lousy housekeeper" or "I'm just no good at math" reinforces these ideas in our brains. Sometimes we start believing these are true because we hear them over and over again--even if we are only hearing them in our own minds.

So, start thinking about what you tell yourself and turning the negatives into positives. Write down three things you routinely tell yourself that are negative, and the new positive phrases you will replace them with from now on! Please, share some of them with us here.

Another Reason Not To Diet

I say this a lot: "Going on a diet implies that you will eventually be going off your diet"... and then you have to consider what will happen when you go back to eating the way you were when you packed the weight on in the first place. Now here's yet another angle from which to view how being on a diet affects your mindset: Being on a diet is black-and-white thinking, also known as all-or-nothing thinking. It says, "You are either on your diet or you are off it".

So, what happens if you tell yourself you are 'on' a diet, and then you eat something that is not allowed on your diet? Bam! You are off your diet, just like that. Then what? Then the little devil in your mind says, "well, now that we've blown that, we might as well give in and have a piece (or two) of that leftover pie that's in the fridge".



What would be a better alternative to "going on a diet"? I suggest you tell yourself, "I am watching what I eat and making better choices most of the time". This gives you allowances for times that you are not perfect. And since none of us is perfect, that just makes sense. This way, if you have an extra helping of potatoes, indulge in a piece of pie, or accept the birthday cake offered at the office party and eat it before even realizing what you've done, you haven't blown anything. You've made a choice that didn't help you lose weight, but that happens. You haven't failed because you haven't set yourself up for failure.

From what I've seen, going on a diet sets you up to fail. There is little chance you can stick to a plan you set that doesn't allow for extenuating circumstances or even special occasions. So repeat out loud now, "I am watching what I eat and making better choices most of the time". And while you're at it, how about, "I am choosing to find a physical activity I enjoy each day and being active for at least 30 minutes".

Please leave your comments here and let us all know how these affirmations help you, or if you have another that works for you!

43 things to do this weekend

This weekend, instead of snacking, here's a wildly fun thing to do if you have to be indoors. (If you don't have to be indoors you should be outside doing something active, burning calories, of course!)
There is a website called "43 things". I don't know how they came up with the number, but it's a fantastic, motivating, and fun place to be on the web. The idea is this: come up with a list of 43 things to do. You decide what you want to do and when you'd like to accomplish these feats. They range from the divine to the disastrous. Some are inspiring and some downright ridiculous. But all of them are so much fun to read.
There are people who aim to quit smoking, lose weight, run a marathon, or skydive. Some want to read certain books, write a book, do something they've always been afraid to do, or tell someone what they really think. Many members want to learn a craft, learn a new language, change careers, or travel to some exotic place.
You don't even have to come up with your own list. You can browse what others have decided to do and tag on to theirs. Some goals have hundreds of followers with the same intent of accomplishment. Popular ones include losing weight, learning to cook or sew, exercising more, quitting a bad habit, becoming more organized and being on time.
Less popular ones include dying your hair pink, hosting a talk show, and making a violin.

Mine? I only have six right now (I haven't updated for a while):

1) get rid of all the clothes in my closet (and dresser) that don't look and feel great on me!
(I'm the only one with this goal so far) My closet has really improved since I posted this goal. I think it will take a little more than a year (I have to go through a few seasons) but it's always on my mind when I dress and when I shop.

2) coach 100 clients so I can reach a Professional Certified Coach level
(I'm the only one with this goal, too). It's quite a lengthy process for this level of certification. It's going to take about five years. If anyone is thinking about being coached, it would help me out at the same time, as I continue to log my hours over the next few years.

3) finish knitting the sweater I started for my husband last fall
(No one else has this as a goal, but maybe they have other knitting projects they've started and have yet to finish) I also have started a sweater (or two) for myself, and a couple of pairs of socks for friends and family members... I just couldn't bear to list all of my unfinished knitting projects. It makes me dizzy to think about.

4) complain less
(Surprise! This is a goal I share with 818 other people on the site) It is a good idea and it's a win/win for everyone. Next time you get ready to complain about something, just try to phrase your statement in a more positive way: instead of "Ugh! It's raining again--I'm so tired of this weather" how about, "the plants sure must be enjoying this--at least we're not in the hurricane region". Try asking for what you want instead of pointing out what you don't want: "Honey, I'd really appreciate if you put the seat down when you're finished so I don't have to worry about falling in". It sounds so much less like nagging and complaining, and then people know exactly what you want--not what you don't want!

5) Take a "one-year off" trip
(This one I share with 240 people who also have it on their list) Hopefully we will be able to start traveling early in 2009 and continue for most of the year!

6) write an e-book
(No one else on the site is striving to do this right now)
I have two of them started; one is outlined and one is almost finished. I just have to break it up into smaller goals now to get each step taken care of, one at a time.

Post your goals on the '43 things site' or leave some here in the comments. Let us know how you're progressing with them and if we can be of any help!

How Laurie Lost Weight

This is me! And the story of how I lost 15 pounds. I preach it now, calling it "watch out for the once-in-a-while's".


I'm a registered dietitian: I know how many calories are in virtually every food; I know how many grams of fat there are in a serving, how many grams of carbs are contained, what a reasonable portion size is, and which foods have little nutritional value; I know how many servings a day I should have of fruits, vegetables, dairy, and starches.
I know all of that. So why had I gained 15 pounds over the past 5 years and why wasn't it coming off? I ate reasonably well--I didn't binge, eat fast foods often, have desserts after every meal, or go out for ice cream every night. I was already eating what I thought was a fairly low calorie diet (about 1800 calories daily), so what could I change?

Right now I don't remember when it hit me, but it hit me hard, and I never forgot it: I was thinking about how well I avoided high calorie meals, struggling to figure out where I was going to come up with hundreds of calories a day to eliminate so I could lose a few pounds each month. I hardly ever ate fast food--maybe just every other week or so. I rarely had pizza because I knew that was a high-calorie dinner, so I wouldn't order one unless it had been a couple of weeks since the last time. Ditto with our local buffet restaurant, take-out chinese food, and eating out in any restaurant which served rolls and butter before the main meal. I didn't eat desserts often at lunch, even though they boasted quite a display of them at the cafeteria where I worked, so I would treat myself just once or twice a week. I very occasionally would indulge in a donut or sweet roll for breakfast, so it was especially enjoyable when I would give in every week or so. Sometimes I would be on the road during a trip and I would loosen the 'rules' a bit, allowing for snacks to help pass the drive; but that was only four or five times a year.

Are you seeing what I now see? I was trying to limit each of these indulgences to a reasonable frequency, but there were so many of them I wasn't being smart about all of them; I wasn't getting the meaning of eating the sum of them. I was, in fact, ingesting an extra 500 calories from something or other practically every other day: If I hadn't had pizza that week I got the extra calories from chinese and fast food meals; if I didn't have dessert I had already taken the calories earlier in the form of a donut; if I walked off the ice cream cone, I didn't exercise enough to walk off the cake from the office party too!

I thought I was keeping these "once-in-a-while's" down to once a month, but in fact I was "limiting" my choice 15 fattening foods to what amounted to 15 times a month--once a month for each of them--I had found the hundreds of calories to shave off my diet.
My new plan was to eat a high-calorie meal once in a while--only one. I could choose one day a week to have pizza or fast food or dessert or a donut. I couldn't rationalize that I hadn't had a cinnabon for six months if I just had a twice-a-year candy bar yesterday--that would never bring me the negative calorie balance I needed that week to lose weight.

I struggled with the idea of giving up pizza when it was so tempting to order out instead of cooking; giving up my favorite drive through restaurant when I was out and about and started to feel hungry; giving up my favorite donuts--just because I like donuts. But in the long run I realized I wanted to lose 15 pounds more than I wanted to eat donuts. There are plenty of foods I do like, and it's really just as easy to focus on all the delights I can enjoy than it is to pine away for the foods that bring me nothing but extra weight in the long run.

So I savor my fruits at snack time, munch on carrot sticks instead of potato chips, enjoy finding new and simple recipes to make for dinner, search for low calorie ice cream treats for the evening munchies, and plan ahead for times I don't feel like cooking. We eat out much less often and declare how much we've saved in money, gas, and calories at the end of our family dinner. It feels good to eat healthier almost all of the time instead of half the time. And, the bottom line for success: it feels much better weighing whatever I want to weigh than it does eating whatever I want to eat.

So, You Used to be Skinny

Many of us in our 40's and 50's long for bygone days when we were thin without even trying (too hard) to maintain our fit figure. What was different then? Why does it seem so difficult now to keep those extra pounds off? Some think weight gain just naturally comes with age, but I think a few other things need to be taken into consideration. What is different about your lifestyle now, compared to how you lived when you were in your 20's and early 30's. Consider these ideas:

1. When I was in my 20's I always ate at home. And sometimes a meal was a bowl of cereal. I didn't have the money to eat out in restaurants very often. At some point, eating out became a social event, a time of relaxation, a way of escaping cooking another meal at home. And when we eat out, we get all the calories that come with a restaurant meal: the bread while waiting for the main course; the large salad with the regular dressing (if the restaurant doesn't have the kind of diet dressing I like); sometimes an alcoholic beverage before or with the meal; the large portions we eat too much of; and the offer of a dessert tray. That can make a huge difference in our weight if we eat out a few times a week. It's about a thousand calories more than a bowl of cereal!

2. How easy is it to get food now compared to the way things were 20 or 30 years ago? I go grocery shopping two or three times a week now and I'm always sure to have great snacks available in the house. When I was in my 20's there might always be cereal around, but not always milk; there might be a box of stale cookies, but there just wasn't a huge variety of food to choose from in my pantry. Chances are, I took a look in my fridge, saw nothing tempting, and went off to finish the magazine I was reading and forgot about having a snack. How much food do you keep around you now that you have money available, go shopping frequently, and want to make sure there's a tasty treat around in case you want one?

3. How much do you exercise now compared to when you were younger? Didn't you always have time to go to the gym then? Now there always seems to be a reason why we're too busy to work out. I remember always having the energy to take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk to the other end of the mall instead of driving, ride my bike to a friend's house instead of taking the car. That way of life kept me burning more calories every day.

4. What do you do for entertainment now? Didn't we used to just hang out with friends, laughing, telling stories, playing cards or board games; maybe we went for a bike ride or a hike; lots of times we went out dancing. It seems now all our activities revolve around food! "Let's get together for dinner one night," we invite a friend. "Do you want to go out for ice cream?" we ask our spouse. Think about what you used to do for fun when you were younger (and thinner) compared to what you do now. We might have gone camping for vacation then, whereas we go cruising now--can you imagine the difference in calories we take in (and also the calories we burn) between those two different options?

I have concluded that weight gain is not inevitable simply because we age. Rather, we change habits that have kept us thinner, and our new habits are what causes us to gain weight. Think about what your lifestyle was like when you were a smaller size, and try to get back into some of those great old habits! Find some enjoyable activities that don't involve eating, and that do involve moving around a little bit more.