Eating For Your Eye Color

Undoubtedly you’ve heard of the popular book, “The Blood Type Diet”. In fact, blood types are identified in case you need to receive blood one day to prevent you from having a serious reaction.
Period.
There is absolutely no significance as related to your diet, your food tolerances, allergies, or reactions to food! The fact that someone wrote a book called “Eating for Your Blood Type” is akin to writing a book called, “Eating for your Eye Color”. So, I will tell you now how to best eat for your eye color to help you lose weight:

There are groups of people who have blue eyes, others who have brown eyes and some who have green. If both of your parents have blue eyes, so will you--just as if both of your parents have type O blood, you will. Therefore, these characteristics can be seen among others in your family—just go ahead and ask them!

Okay, so first of all, any of you who have blue eyes, listen up! You have light colored eyes and you really like snacks; especially those high in carbohydrates. Am I right? You enjoy having a donut or coffee cake late in the morning. It acts as a real pick-me-up to keep you going until lunch time, and of course, donuts taste so good to you (because your eyes are blue!) You love having some chips or cookies in the afternoon from the vending machine. You just get a craving for something sweet or salty a couple of hours after lunch, and that little munchable treat satisfies you until dinner time. Finally, you often crave something to snack on in the evening while you are watching television. How do I know this? Your eyes are blue! Mine are too. I like to snack.
How can we lose weight? Here’s how: find a lower calorie substitute for the snacks you are presently consuming. There are fantastic 100 calorie snack bags so you can have a hostess mini-cake package late morning, some wheat thins or cheese nips in the afternoon, and a skinny cow ice cream bar in the evening. Yes, even though you have blue eyes and you like to snack, you can still lose weight --just get your snacking under control.

Now for those of you with brown eyes: you like sweets, especially chocolate. And you like peanut butter. Of course you do; I know that because your eyes are brown. I have friends with brown eyes—they like chocolate and peanut butter. So, you like to eat peanut M & M’s, snickers candy bars, chocolate ice cream with nuts in it, and other treats that have a lot of calories. This makes you gain weight. You gain weight when you eat chocolate and peanut butter because your eyes are brown! And because these are very high calorie foods. What can you do about it?

First of all, realize that liking chocolate or peanut butter is not really a physiological craving. You do not need chocolate. You just like it because it tastes good. So you need to know that if you can wait until the craving passes and not wolf down a king-sized Snickers bar or double Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, you will be okay. For every 300 calories you can pass up (check the labels on those candy bars), you’ll lose three more pounds by the end of the month. This could be nine pounds a month if you’re indulging three times a day!

If you still want the taste (of course you do!) then learn to control the portions. Again, many of the 100 calorie snack bags are foods you would enjoy; chocolate covered pretzels, nutter-butter cookie crisps, and chocolate chip cookies. There are lower calorie brands of ice cream and you need to measure out a ½ cup portion when you eat it, instead of scooping ice cream into the bowl until it’s full (yes, I know that’s what you do, because your eyes are brown).

And, finally, we get to the smaller percentage of the population—those with pretty, green eyes. Unfortunately, you are predisposed to a taste for foods that have fat in them! This is unfortunate because fats have twice the calories of carbohydrates. You like donuts, potato chips, cakes, and pie. Cookies, brownies, and ice cream are also sources of fat, as well as sour cream, butter, and salad dressing. You have green eyes, so I know you are not someone who likes a dry baked potato or an undressed salad. You usually order French fries or a milkshake when you go out for fast food.

What can you do to get that weight off? Start limiting your portions of these foods. Write down everything you eat for a week. See how many times each day, on average, you indulge in one of these high fat foods. Now make the decision to reduce this to only one time a day, at most. If you have a donut, you do not also get a milkshake later that day; if you get fried fish you do not also have French fries; if you have pie after lunch you do not also get ice cream after dinner. You have green eyes: you need to find other ways to treat yourself during the day besides eating these high-fat foods!

To everyone with colored eyes, best of luck with your weight loss efforts! I’m confident you will be able to lose weight after you choose lower calorie snacks, reduce your portion sizes, decrease the calories consumed from treats, and find other ways to de-stress besides eating high-calorie foods.
I must add here, that this is a spoof, just in case someone believes these tips are true. The good news is these tips actually will work for you no matter what your eye color!

Have I gone too far? Let me know!!